Notes from a small island

“Yours tickets,sir!”The IA hostess said handing me back my tickets,glaring grumpily at me and rudely gesturing towards my seats.As Dennis Bergkamp and I would be close contenders for any airlines frequent flier program,this was the first time I was experiencing IA’s unique version of hospitality.For Gods sake,the hostesses atleast have to be taught to smile and perform basic courtesies.If I’m paying a sum that would ,say, give me 10 years supply of playboy,I expect to be treated extremely well.(The fact that somebody else was sponsoring for my jamboree to Singapore is besides the point).

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We(my friend nandan and I) stayed at a hotel called Golden Landmark(that also put on someones tab!).It was decent and what put it high in my esteem was the fact that it had a tub.Just a normal small tub but tub all the same.Also it took getting used to the fact that they drank the water straight off the taps.Hard to imagine doing it here in Chennai.

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We decided to go to the zoo and went by the MRT(their metro).The fully automated system to purchase the ticket,electronic trains,automatic doors,you know it was just mindboggling.And just to when you tire of making a demographic profile of your carriage and decide that the Chinese looking guy sittting two seats away was,well,Chinese,they vary the monotony by making the train go above ground where you can get a full aerial view of Singapore with its enormous highrises seemingly a frisbee throwing distance away.

The buildings are wonderful,in various sizes(L,XL and XXL), rising perpendicularly out of the ground;a celebration of glass and cement,in all colours from dull brown to a bright blue,virtually utilising all the 256K colours available in MSPaint;in crazy shapes varying from the short and the squat to ones that invites Newton’s followers to question the blasphemy regarding nonconformance to the first commandment(Thou shalt obey the laws of gravity).And to ensure there is more than just a sea of asphalt,oasises of green have been tastefully set amidst the skyscrapers.

<> However,I digress.We got off the train and then took the bus to the zoo(Their bus also involves an obscene amount of technology that however does save human labour )The zoo is superbly planned,in a natural setting with the animals not caged but roaming about in short expanse of land,a small moat separating them from inquisitive spectators.What is so astounding is that hordes of tourists descend on the zoo and the bird park,knowing virtually nothing of animals ,and on seeing a Greater Red crested Magpie(found only in the Congo region feeding on crickets,tennises and baseball bats and nearly extinct –actually it doesn’t exist ,there might be such a subspecies but most of the names were something like this so I am fairly sure that a bird like this does exist ) and say “Look!Birdie !Sooooooo sweeeeeet!” They see the same type of animal (for example ,there were gazelle,impala,sambar,blackbuck,nilgai,springbok,reebok,
someotherbokwhosenameiforgot,all in addition to the humble deer of course) and still go around and for the zoo to draw huge crowds to see all this is praiseworthy to say the least.The night safari was crowd pulling and deservedly so; it involved well trained animals,crowd interaction and some super tricks.

<> Returned the same way but went to Orchard Road(probably Asia’s swankest road with huge malls,hotels,windowshoppers,and the usual hanger ons)which was brightly illuminated for the Christmas season.Amazing place to walk around but no place to eat anything vegetarian!.I had to make do with a McBurger without the meat ,an apple and juice.

<> Next day,the tourist guy (since I’ve not mentioned it earlier, we had a won a quiz for which the prize was a trip and stay in Singapore) had arranged for tour of the city.Each tourist destination has been well looked after , marketed superbly , lots of signboards ,with commentary wherever possible,and every place of any remote interest to a camera toting tourist clearly indicated(I’m sure if you hunted long enough, you would find a butt of the first cigarette Sir Stamford Raffles ever smoked on the island,carefully preserved in airconditioned splendour in a museum ,with a $10 entry fee and commentary in all the 72345 dialects spoken on earth).

We then got on the cable car to Sentosa. New panoramas are opened as you travel on this jawdropping ride perilously carried on a slender spidersthread thickness rope.You repent for all the sins that you may have committed in your previous life just to thank God that you could get such an superb view .Some distance away are those skyscrapers,pretty hard to miss;in another corner,a toys playground style shipyard and freight region with enormous cranes manipulating even bigger containers;green forests on one small side and the steel gray waters of the ocean right below you.The underwater world in Sentosa is a must see where you look at schools and even colleges of fishes separated by a mere sheet of glass.Also,I found what should be another major tourist attraction here;an entirely vegetarian restaurant serving all kinds of Chinese dishes.I had to ask her more questions than Siddartha Basu has ever asked before I was convinced I was seeing the Eighth wonder of the world.First and only chinese meal(noodles!) I had in the Garden City.

<> Next day,we went to Jurong bird Park,where I saw one of my favorite birds,the penguin at close quarters.Amazing animals to look at,clumsy and gauche on land,but swimming with great ease and elegance.Could spend hours staring at their whimsical movements(Penguins daily schedule –go to the water ,swim with extraordinary grace there,waddle about on land,eat,loop back to step one ) but still fun to watch.Walking through the enclosures,designed to look like a forest and doing its succeeding very well,seeing birds at close quarters(close one eighths would be closer to the point as some were really close)flying about merrily in a riot of colours, and hearing the chirping of the birds in the humid jungle like atmosphere was a great experience.

<> The people there are pretty friendly and were very helpful with directions and other questions I plagued them with like why there was a button on the traffic signal (to speed up the green light!);on where to get vegetarian food(this I had to ask a lot of people and most of them were stumped for an answer ;for best results hunt up a tam looking guy,lots of them, and ask him)

Did a lot of other things but getting pained on writing for so long ,so “So long!”

PS-funny sign at the airport -in addition to the usual list of things not to do,no spitting no chewing gum,no durian there was a no studying!