Tuesday, July 22, 2008

2 Bad Jokes

Called MHU's in IIMA jargon.


There is a severe shortage of an essential commodity, say rice, in India.
Hence, the government allocates rice randomly to people. Needless to say,
people are incensed at being allowed to being alloted random quantities of
rice, quite often much below their requirements.The people rice up in protest.
Some decide to take the matter to court. A person decides to go to private
courts to speed up the process.
How would you term the decision that the private court made?

Ans. Arbitration on Arbit Ration

Cricket Joke

It was noticed that Jayawardene won all the matches day-night he captained,
especially in locations where there was substantial moisture in the
He had a knack of predicting when to bat first, and when to bring on the
spinners when bowling second. Invariably, these predictions would turn the
dewuel in Sri Lanka' favour.
It was dewring one of these tournaments that an ibank recruiter spotted him.
They noticed him making trips to the ground for several evenings before every
match. Realising that he wasn't as dewy-eyed and
innocent as he appeared, they cornered him and said 'Dewde, waddya upto?'. Dew
to this reply, and his past proven success, the headhunter give him an instant
offer. Can dyou tell me what he said?

Ans. "Dew diligence is the secret of my success"

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Does the flap of a butterfly’s wing in LKP set off a blizzard of rock in RJM?

Yesterday, while idly walking the lawns of LKP, an MBA student was struck by a brilliant thought. He decided to describe the behavior of people who descended upon Ahmedabad every year and like all MBA students are wont to do, he decided to create a model of his own. The parameters he used were enthu, enthu, enthu, skill, creativity, energy and the ability to crack short MANAC quizzes (the last mentioned just to ensure the MBA S. himself would fit in the model). Inspired by the names of other models, he wanted to come up with a super pseud name and thus chose the refreshingly-original-and-blindingly-radical name of Chaos Theory.

To check whether Chaos Theory actually fit into real life Chaos Practicals, he decided to observe the proceedings from afar. First up were the dances. These were vibrant, full of color and brilliant to watch; the dancers energetic; literally scorching the stage with their dance moves. In fact, the only feature missing was that the dances didn’t depict whether the dancers could crack short MANAC quizzes or not. Deciding to give his model a second shot, he decided to fit the fashion parade into his framework. However, the fashion parade provided so many models to keep track of that our MBA S. was totally lost in a 2-by-2 matrix of his own dreams. Among the many he did notice, Madame Butterfly occupied his attention the most, her head still as she paced the stage and her wings flapping ever so silently. This model seemed to predict a major impact on future events, and he realized he would just have to wait and watch.

Later that night, his worst fears came true, and the butterfly effect was proved beyond all doubt.The flapping had resulted in a tornado which developed into cataclysmic proportions. The blizzard of rock had everybody in the auditorium head-banging to their head’s content. There was enthu, enthu, enthu, skill, etc etc. The MBA S. noticed with delight that his model seemed to work on almost all parameters.(On a lighter note, he noticed that one of the bands had taken the name Blizzard very seriously and played the song, Hail, Hail, Hail and Kill).
He headed back to his room, deciding to give his model two more days of real life practice before proclaiming it to all and sundry. Would our brave MBA S.
be proved right? Or would the forces of Nashure drive his theory into the ground? Stay tuned tomorrow, same butterfly-time same butterfly-channel!

PS - part of an article I had written for the newsletter of Chaos
Chaos - our cultural fest
RJM - An ultra-pseud auditorium
LKP - best open-air theatre in the world!
MANAC - see post below