2 Bad Jokes

Called MHU's in IIMA jargon.

Joke-in-Law

There is a severe shortage of an essential commodity, say rice, in India.
Hence, the government allocates rice randomly to people. Needless to say,
people are incensed at being allowed to being alloted random quantities of
rice, quite often much below their requirements.The people rice up in protest.
Some decide to take the matter to court. A person decides to go to private
courts to speed up the process.
How would you term the decision that the private court made?

Ans. Arbitration on Arbit Ration

Cricket Joke


It was noticed that Jayawardene won all the matches day-night he captained,
especially in locations where there was substantial moisture in the
evening.
He had a knack of predicting when to bat first, and when to bring on the
spinners when bowling second. Invariably, these predictions would turn the
dewuel in Sri Lanka' favour.
It was dewring one of these tournaments that an ibank recruiter spotted him.
They noticed him making trips to the ground for several evenings before every
match. Realising that he wasn't as dewy-eyed and
innocent as he appeared, they cornered him and said 'Dewde, waddya upto?'. Dew
to this reply, and his past proven success, the headhunter give him an instant
offer. Can dyou tell me what he said?

Ans. "Dew diligence is the secret of my success"